Things I have learnt

1. I can do this

Went out yesterday on a 40 mile ride, from my house to Devils Dyke nr Brighton. It is part of the route that I will be riding in June, and I want to build up the mileage by about 20 miles per month on my massive weekend ride.

Feb - 40 Miles
Mar - 60 Miles
Apr - 80 Miles
May - 90 Miles
Jun - 100 Miles

I am increasing my weekday evening rides to 2 Hrs Mon/Tues/Thurs/Fri.
That should do the trick.

2. Buy a map

One small challenge is that I didn't complete yesterdays ride, I didn't make it to Devils Dyke as I couldn't find it. Somehow the South Downs Way left me, I pedaled mightily on in the direction of Brighton and somehow I ended up going in a 16mile circle.

Picture the scene... Friday morning 0845 - The South Downs Way:

"Hi Amy, this will take a little longer than I thought, but I will be back to take the kids to see Bolt. What time does it start? Right see you later".

"Puff, puff, puff bloody hills, puff puff wheeeeeeeeeeee (Downhill bit) RIGHTEOUS! RIIIGHTEOUUS! (Fast downhill). Cool, that looks like the A27. Hang on, Findon, f**king Findon!? How did I end up further East that I started? Bollocks, I'll take that track there"

"That pile of mud looks familiar"

Friday morning 1045 - The South Downs Way:

"Hi Amy, I seem to be at exactly the same point I was when I phoned you 2 hrs ago."

"Yep, I'll have another crack on Sunday, when I have bought a map!"

Bugger.

Goodbye old friend.

This MTB lark is not cheap. In fact it is a very expensive hobby, not as expensive as a Brian Harvey/Danniella Westbrooke level cocaine addiction but still requires outlays of cash. £150 here for parts and service, £30 there due to ripping the batty out of my shorts, £2o for a saddle that won't render me nutless, it all adds up. So Mrs C-S has finally put she foot down and said "Oi Crawford - NOOOO! I admire your desire to lose some chub and raise cash to help the Cardically challenged but I want a landscaped front garden. MOFO!"

Don't get me wrong, my wife is extremely supportive of my hobbies, and has always understood my obsessive nature with them. After a trip to Paris I started listening to Bluenote Jazz and discovered a fantastic trumpet player called Lee Morgan. He truly is was an amazing musician, he played the trumpet with the same reckless abandon that Jimi Hendrix played guitar. In order to fully appreciate his genius I bought a Trumpet and began learning to play. You can imagine how quickly Amy brought in the "Anti Trumpet clause", and since then it has sat unloved in a corner. I also bought a new guitar, A Gibson Les Paul, a brilliant instrument, plays metal, rock, blues, Jazz you name it, it sounds great.

However, I already had a guitar. When my Grandfather died in '97 he left me £500. The probate cleared in'99 and when it nestled in the bank account I went on a £100 bender and spent the rest on a Fiesta Red Fender Stratocaster the following morning whilst still pissed. Ypu can tell I was still a bit wrecked because "Fiesta Red" is also like, "Deep Salmon Pink Porn Guitar Colour". Anyway, despite it being the gayest colour ever I have grown quite attached to it, however, this mad crusade is going to take its toll on Le Steed, and I must part with "Shanger".

I do get attached to my shit, and also the Trumpet is on ebay, but friends, I think by now you must understand how important this event has become to me. To sell my guitar, bought with the cash left to me by my Grandfather to pay for parts that will wear out, it is emotional.

But, being a half full kind of guy, I reckon that by selling my Fender will help pay back some of the cash spent on the Gibson, allowing that guitar to take over as the heirloom left to me by my Grandfather and become the new "Shanger", and thus releasing funds to pay for the unkeep and maintanance of the bike.

Makes sense to me.

Completed a sterling effort on the night ride. Clearly it is pointless taking any photos but I may try and film some downhill runs so you can see how utterly terrifying it is.

Terrifying, but really exhilarating!! 30MPH down single track is great fun, and I am convinced that you ride faster because you can't see where you are going. Fell off too. Ouch

Now true believers I must prepare for tomorrows ride with a glass of wine and Aliens v Predator: Requiem.

Rock on.

Right at the roundabout

Greetings true believers! The training goes well, I managed to get a couple of sessions on the stationary bike in whilst in Dublin. Kept things ticking over nicely for todays Bataan Death March onto the SD. Deadly chose a different way today, out towards Arundel which was a truly momentous moment.

Let me tell you why.

For those of you who haven't yet gathered I live in a Seaside town called Worthing, which is OK but you have to always put "near Brighton" whenever anyone asks you where it is. Amy and I met while I lived in Hove, but we had to move to Farnham for a while but we always wanted to move back to Hove. Indeed, my daughter was born at the Royal Sussex and is therefore a Brightonian by birth.

Worthing, in my snobbish mind, was basically a bland giant care home punctuated by the occasional Burberry check of Otto Von Chav. However it was much cheaper than Hove and would be a be a good base for us to find somewhere in Brighton or Hove, whilst enjoying the lower prices. Consequently I never really bothered to get to knew the place before we moved or since, but I knew two key facts; that it was near Brighton, and that it was where Oscar Wilde wrote "The Importance of Being Earnest".

During my 1st week here I discovered other key facts;

The cinema is shit
The pubs are shit
The shopping is shit
The restaurants are shit
My son is a Porkbolter*
Old people on motorised Invalid Carriages are bastards
*People from Worthing are called Porkbolters

However, it didn't bother me as soon I would be returning as the prodigal son to Brighton, right?

Wrong, Mr C, very, very wrong.

Thanks to the collapse in house prices and the current economic environment, one thing has become clear for many people around the country:

I hope you like your house, you're not going anywhere else for a while.

So suddenly, I began to realise that Worthing has some pretty nice things going for it;

I can buy fish off the boat
I can buy a seriously white pair of Reeboks
There is a really friendly MTB Club















I can go kite surfing (eventually)
I can stroll by the sea

The South Downs are beautiful!!















One other strange thing is that the magnet towards Brighton has weakened, and i now have to accept that i live in Worthing, not Brighton - which also means i have to turn right at the roundabout. I found there is a Sainsburys, and a NEW part of the SD!!!















I picked up the Steed from Darren at Quest at 10AM today, shining like a new pin with some new parts that are more reliable. Apparently they will also save me 300g in weight. Well bloody hell, I reckon I can save 3kg by having a big dump. (Thats also free not £150 sterling).

Holy Shheeeeaaat! The mud god shined on us today, the bastard.














As you can see from previous ramblings we have recently had snow, and snow melts and creates mud. which is very draining on energy, as obviously you are having to lay down some power to get through which is knackering.















I ran out of steam quite badly, so I need to learn how to fuel for these rides so my muscles have sufficient stores. It was lucky that we stopped at Hikers on the A24 for a Sausage Roll or I would have collapsed, but 3rd ride out today and this was the toughest. Hopefully now my body will now start to adapt to the stresses placed on it and get fitter.

Body, please hurry up.

The other thing that happened is that my shorts decided to give up the ghost to day and split in half, by the time I got home I was wearing a skirt. Good look.

El Steederino was caked in mud by the end, so I got Spike to work on it, he did a good job too. Had too as I wouldn't let him in until it was squeaky clean!















But another 20 miles cracked today at ave 7mph, getting better. Getting stronger.

Have my 1st night ride of the season on Tuesday, which will be a laugh -

Rock on!

Arse

More numbers - 111.1. That is what I weighed this morning before breakfast, in kilos. Sheeeeat! No I did not then go and eat the contents of the fridge followed by some pork scratchings. Just one of those things that sneak up on you I guess! Anyway, I consider it to be motivating, a bit like a comment this weekend when I discussed the ride with an acquaintance.

”aren’t you a bit fat to do that? You have no chance”

Cheers mate and F**k you, if you fancy a bet on it put you money where your mouth is and sponsor me. Good to see you by the way.

A motivational genius, should go on tour with Anthony Robbins. I have that smug gits face in my mind every time I think of this ride. I can't wait for it.

The Footie was fun, West Ham v Man Utd and Man Utd won 1-0 pretty unsurprisingly. I am actually a Palace fan, but I enjoy watching football played on the ground, not like volleyball. The Hammers gave them a good run for their money, but watching football live gives you a different perspective on teams. West Ham are a good side, Man Utd are an unbelievably good side, they are absolutely flawless in defence and can score from anywhere. Cristiano Ronaldo is a class apart, but it is a crying shame that the World and European player of the year is an utter cock. The Hammers fans kept winding him up by singing "You should have died in the tunnel, died in the tuuuunnnneeel, you should have died in the tunneeeeeeeeel". Harsh but fair.

2 x 30 Press ups and sit ups this morning, and Steedmeister went in for his MOT……150 Quid!!!!!!!! He needs a few parts that have become prematurely been worn from my extremely poor maintenance, and he has covered a fair few miles. Apparently grit and oil create a nice grinding paste that knackers your transmission, so clean before oiling. It needed doing, as a snapped chain 30 miles from home would have sucked, but I could have done without the cost though.

Your humble narrator will be of round the country for a few days in the Emerald Isle – but fear not, I will post I am sure.

Ouch! My bum hurts

Met up with the Quest riders this morning, and embarked on a pretty gruelling ride, but we will get to that in a bit. Met a very nice Lady who "recognised me from somewhere"......turns out she used to be in the Royal Navy too, and we were based at HMS Dryad at the same time. Small world.



Also caught up with Deadly Dave, who is a sterling chap; very knowledgable on the various trails the South Downs (SD) have to offer and deceptively quick up hill. I hadn't seen him in a few months, (and he has since take the look of an Antarctic explorer) but we got on well and are going to be doing some more endurance runs in the next few weeks and months.









Anyway, the ride was excellent - but unexpectedly very cold on the SD. "Unexpected!?" I hear you cry. "Have you not seen that the UK is under 26.3ft of snow? FOOL?". I have, but here in Worthing we have an unusual Microclimate, as we have the sea to the South, the River Adur to the West, The SD to the North and another river to the East.

Apparently, this means that the temp in Worthing is generally slightly higher than our Neighbours, such as the peasants in Brighton, who have no doubt spent the week snowed in singing and writing poetry.




Anyway after that thrilling interlude, don't just take my word for it I have pictures. The 1st hill nearly killed me, but as I warmed up I got a good Ready Brek glow going on and managed to hold a pretty good pace on the flat. My achilles heel, and the absolute key to success on the randonnee is my performance uphill. Shut it Capel.


I was averaging 3.3mph on some of the climbs, which is walking pace so I need to learn to love hills. The last 35Miles of the run are the miles with the big climbs so I need to improve my general fitness and stamina to be able to mash this up.

We covered around 17 miles today, at an ave speed of 6.5mph, which is OK. If you recall my target ave is 10mph, but at least in know now what that pace feels like and I have a good run under my belt.



El Steederino performed very well, but is booked into Quest for a service on Tuesday. The rear brake needs adjusting, lateral movement on the rear wheel, the top cog in bent so I have lost 5 gears and needs an all round tweak.




I am a little knackered and my homemade Lucozade Isotonic (Salt, Sugar, Ribena and 3 litres of water has made bad magic in the stomach and now pints of boiling hot magma come from my bottom.



Roll on Saturday, next ride in anger, but until then I will be doing general fitness activities. You sometimes forget how beautiful this country can be...



Will let you know how I go.

Rock on.

T-Raining

Bah, curses, pants and double arse. It is hoofing it down, and I have decided that it will postpone my cycle this eve. Now before you all start giving it all that, I have not quit at the first hurdle. I have decided that rather than go for a 10 mile road ride this evening I have joined up with Sussex MTB again, and will foray out into the West Sussex wilderness tomorrow AM.

(By the way MTB = Moun-Tain Bike 0r Monkey Takes Biscuit)

The local bike shop, Quest Adventure, organise a monthly ride to a cake shop and back, which includes a few mighty hillage. I have done one of these before and nearly yakked up a Victoria Sponge, so a splendid opportunity to get a twofer on the same bit of cake.

Sussex MTB are a good bunch, I went along to a few of their Wednesday night rides at the end of 07, but stopped for a couple of reasons;

1. They were much fitter, faster and more dedicated to off road biking than I. For perspective, a couple rode single speed bike and whooped my ass. It was like Capt Mainwaring joined the SAS

2. Subsequently I kept holding them up as they would have to wait for me to catch up......wait a LONG time too.

3. I kept getting lost by taking the worng turn whilst on my own in the dark, partly down to my massive hip flask filled with finest Bajan rum.

To complete this challenge I need to be much fitter, faster and more dedicated to off road biking than I was, and these guys will help me, I just need to show more commitment, and I am looking forward to catching up with them again, especially Deadly and Uncle Phil.

So what is different in 2009?

I am.

Last year was challenging enough without throwing this in, work was relentless and the subsequent work/life balance was work/work. In 2009, I have packed in smoking now and my knee is pretty good this winter. I am working smarter and I need to focus on something other than BOTOX(R), Juvederm, Breast Implants and my family.

Did an equipment check earlier, dug out all of the gear that Amy wanted me to put on E-Bay. HAH! no chance! Man shall not part with manly items, I will post photos of the 1st ride of the season.

Realisation!

Some sobering numbers

100 Miles
12 Hrs
10,000 ft overall climb
Offroad
Ave Speed req = 8mph

To give me the endurance to do this I need to have cycled what, maybe 800 training miles in 143 days? Marathon runners talk about running 10 x 3/4 distance in preparation for a 26 mile run, I have only run a 1/2 marathon once, it took me nearly 3hrs and I was beaten on the line by a giant pint of beer and a Camel. I am like the dwarf from Lord of the Ringpiece - Gimpli or whatever he was called, deadly over short distances, or built for comfort not speed.

I am not going to be Lance Armstrong, but I MUST finish in 11 hrs 59mins and the prospect of being thrashed by Mr Blobby on a mountain bike, doesn't fill me with joy.

Better plan this.

143 Days gives me 20 weeks, 4 sessions training sessions per week will give me 81 training rides. If I can average 3 x 10miles per ride on weekdays, and a bigger ride on Saturday/Sunday, I should be able to build the mileage Saturday/Sunday ride up to cover the course.

By breaking down the 100 Miler into 4 x 25 Mile sections and attacking these on the weekend I will gain some familiarity and be able to plot my speed.

In the absence of a better plan that will do.

However

1. Out for a friends birthday on Saturday night
2. Hangover and West Ham V Man Utd Sunday
3. Away from Bike Wed/Thurs - Hotel Gym here I come!

This will be a very tough thing to do.

Curses!! I have a plan

Howl, wail! credit crunch, recession, vexed 'cos you is skint, and the recession has truly arrived and soon the Vogons will too I'm sure.

But what if the world doesn't end? What happens if we actually make it through 2009 relatively intact, what will we remember 2009 for? Robert Peston being burnt alive as the scapegoat? Will Obama go bowling with Ahmadinejad? Will England win the 6 Nations? Can Richard cycle 100 miles across the South Downs for charity?

OK, all of this is unlikely but a nice thought. (Sorry Robert!). Or is it? Well, Robert Peston is as slippery as the proverbial greased piglet, Mahmoud doesn't look like unclenching anything or becoming a bowling fan and England are still in a "transitional period". So that leaves little old me to rescue 2009 with selfless goodwill and complete the 100 miles of the BHF South Downs Randonee and you can follow my progress on here and the occasional Twitter.

I have a pretty good bike, a Marin Hawk Hill, who will be henceforth referred to as "The Steed/Steedtser/El Steederino".

For those of you who have never clapped eyes on me, be assured that if you choose to sponsor me, this will be a piece of cake as The Steed sweeps my slim athletic frame majestically from hilltop to hilltop.

For my friends, you know this to be bollocks, and be assured that your sponsorship will be hard won, with The Steed grimacing as my large and unfit frame wheezes painfully from hilltop to hilltop.

It will be hard, and I will be blogging my development in the 143 days between this day, the day of an insane decision to untake this crusade and the event.

I entered it last year but just couldn't do it..........the training I mean, didn't bother trying..........

Time to lose a few pounds and raise £5,000 for a great cause.

Wish me luck, training starts tomorrow!!

Richard

http://www.justgiving.com/crazyidea2009