Don't Crash!!

Interesting place England in that it is divided neatly into two, and one half is called The North, and the other is The South.

I have spent much of my recent weeks in the areas known as "The North", and I can tell you there is nothing like driving back from Huddersfield on a Friday evening to make you get out on a bike on Saturday Morning!!

So, how have things been going I hear you cry? Very well thank you, I have been training well, and the mileage is increasing, and also I have been getting faster on Tuesdays night ride, but I was suitably humbled last week by a strange occurrence, which forms our lesson for today:

Crashing and how to avoid it.

I hadn't actually crashed for ages, not down to any particular natural talent, more probably luck and the lack of recent rain, but lo and behold a voice came from afar and put crashing firmly back on the agenda. Let me explain.

Once upon a time your humble narrator was a dashing and handsome 16 yr old young man, with an ego the size of a celestial body. It is now around the size of Uranus, but back then it was a proper Jupiter sized, 16 year old know it all little shit ego that only 16 year old know it all little shits could have. Anyway, I was seeing a girl who lived in the sticks outside Reading, and her lil’ sis had this moped, long story short, I gave it the big ‘un, the old, “yeah, I’ve nicked loads of bikes and I can ride hard core. Chuck it here and I’ll show you some shit” kind a thang.

So your humble narrator gasses the shamefully poor 50cc Honda Shopper, shoots off and crashes into a barbed wire fence in front of said girl and lil sis. To add insult to injury, the family Dog chooses this moment to rape my leg. I have a scar on my leg to this day from that fucking fence.

Any way, I log on to Facebook to find the following message;

“Richarrrddd, I was reading your very funny blog on your training regime. He he nice one, nearly made me laugh as much as seeing you flying into a fence on a scooter - ho ho”.

And guess what? Yep, the day I read this I went out for a ride and crashed coming downhill at about 25MPH, hit a root and BANG! Upside down in a bush of the sharpest bramble you will ever find.

So the simply put, if you want to avoid crashing, don't give it the big 'un.

Never could stand that dog.